Carnival of Death

The Importance of the Towel

Mad ravings on this blog come and go like that crazy uncle who bought your love with cold hard cash. Today’s topic an ever growing controversial topic in the public arena, hell it concerns both Muslims and those immigrants we keep hearing about, THE IMPORTANCE OF THE TOWEL! First off I liked to pay respects to the creator of the towel, but sadly the man who created this is so humble that he has remained anonymous. Some people might say there are more important things than the towel, these would be seditious communists who deserve to be sent out back and shot, for they are trying to blind you from the importance of the towel. Tell me when you spill something where’s the first thing you turn to, a towel of some sort. When you step out of the tower and you need to dry off, what object do you subject the horrible task of drying your barren ass, the towel.

In recent years the towel has been under attack by technology though, soon we will live in a world devoid of towels, I know it’s too horrible to imagine. Tell me when people wash there hair, where do they turn to now? The hair dryer instead of the reliable towel, but let ask all those seditious users of hair dryers out there, would a towel kill you in the shower? I think not! I see grave times ahead of us, there seems to be a cultural rift forming, those who use the towel and then those who are gung-ho for technology. Technology is the devil, I saw Terminator 2, we all know what happens, that technology goes nuts and tries to kill us all, but thank god for those of us still not plugged into the system.

The towel symbolizes democracy in a world that wishes to resort to being mindless tools led by technology! So I put forth all of you a challenge, STAND UP TO THE EVILS OF TECHNOLOGY AND WEAR YOUR TOWEL PROUDLY!!! For you see, the opposition, that evil opposition, which would you like to confuse you wiht mis-direction by saying you can find it to either the left or right, wants to lull you into a false sense of security with it's high tech security systems and fancy lights, but just watch when the seditious traitors slither into your home, steal your children and leave you for dead! And while your life-force ozzes out of you while you lay on your bathroom tile floor, you'll see a towel and remember that where it all began. It starts now, WILL YOU TAKE A STAND FOR YOUR RIGHT TO OWN A TOWEL!!!